EMOTIONLESS

For me emotions are a hard thing to think about let alone write about, I’ve always played the role of the strong unshakeable one who keeps it together emotionally in almost all situations. That is just how I handled an experience that overwhelmed me with emotion one time and it worked so that is what I have done ever since. It is not always a good thing to do this. For the people around you are the strong supportive one at the time, but your emotions are most likely going to find there way out sometime. Throughout my life I have been through what feels like a ton of ups and downs. Starting from my adoption at a young age and running right up to this day my life has always been full of responsibility and emotion. When I was younger my brother struggled with severe depression and when things got really bad that is when I assumed my role as the rock. My parents would get overwhelmed and caught up in all the emotions of what was going on mixed in with some feeling of guilt, when they would think that it was their fault and I would stay strong and try to get things done and help my parents take their mind off of it. When I was thirteen my brother got admitted into a hospital where he would stay for 2 weeks and at the moment that happened I took on a whole knew role of steady one in the household. But what was I supposed to do with the emotions that I thought I was making disappear? Different people handle their feelings differently and at this point in my life the outlet for me was anger. I would box at school and would let no one beat me. We fought for dollars and for some it was something fun to see during recess but for me it was where I could get my release. This only lasted for so long until the teachers got wind of our little boxing league and shut it down.

All my life I have been an athlete, from a very young age my father was determined to make me the next great catcher of my generation. When our boxing league got shut down I threw myself totally into my athletic career. When I was home it was too hard and draining so I would just practice. At this point I was playing ice hockey as well which is a great release of negative energy. I switched from offense to defense and would put my body in play whenever I got a chance. Through the world of sports I realized that emotions did not always have to be suppressed but sometimes you can let them show through. Playing sports is where I learned a hell of a lot about life. Being on a team in a competitive environment and doing whatever it takes to win can and will show through in life after the sports are gone. It is not an easy thing to make me stop in my tracks because I feel like I have seen it all. Just when you start thinking that, something comes along and puts you in your place. Something stops you in your tacks and makes you think about everything in your life and how there is so much more out there.

I cannot recall one particular incident that really stopped me in my tracks but I will say that there are many things out there that make me see how much more there really is in life. Sports are something that I have always looked to in my life. To some it may seem silly to talk about sports and emotion, but to me they go hand in hand. Some may say it’s just a game and others may disagree. No matter what your passion is in athletics it is way more then just a game. Through sports you learn how to be a team player, how to communicate, and most of all it really does build character. So instead of commenting on one case that made my emotion flow I would just say spots in general but more so when I was in the spotlight with my team during my career. So now that I do not play anymore seriously competitive leagues I put my heart into the fun leagues I play in and the teams I love and try to live vicariously through like the New York Mets.

YouTube - Mets video 2006

success

Success is a hard thing to define in cut and dry terms. For me success has many components and is really a compilation of a lot of different things. To me I don’t know if you should measure success by someone’s status, money, or career choice. If you are truly happy in life then to me you are already on your way to success. To be happy in life is more than half the battle to success. If you are the kind of person that needs money to live the way that you want to then success for you would have something to do with career choice and status but ultimately that leads to happiness and comfort.

When we look at the media some people will view celebrities and TV stars as successful, but to me there success is just a front in most cases. Celebrities are successful in their own light but I do no think that the everyday person should use those who have chosen the route of fame as an example of success. Success also varies across the country and around the world. While someone is in New Jersey is successful because of their money, job, family, and happiness, across the world may be a town where success is measured by cattle or land. It differs from everyone you talk to as well.

There are levels of success all throughout our lives; we strive to meet goals since we learn to walk. A part of me wants to say that a type of success is setting goals that are both realistic and challenging and fulfilling those goals. Character is huge for me in determining a person’s success. If you have gone through life and experienced things good and bad and have a strong character, to me that says more than money or status. The person that I interviewed said something to me eight years ago when I made a comment about how nobody would know if someone just picked up a wallet and took the cash out then returned it or something along those lines. He looked me right in my eyes and said something that I will never forget and truly keep in the back of my mind as a guideline. “Character is doing the right thing when no one would ever know if you did the wrong thing”. When I hear the word success the first people I think of are my parents. They are both successful in their own ways. My mother and father both grew up with nothing, they worked their way through college and in my mothers case it wasn’t until she was 31 years old that she finally saved enough money to start going to college, she than graduated from Columbia and proceeded to travel around Europe by herself experiencing the world. My mom coming from a family like she did going to college and seeing Europe was its own kind of success.

My father who is the person I talked to about success is my ultimate role model. Everything he does he does with passion and intent to help someone. He is a partner at Hamilton Dental Associates and has helped the community for over 35 years. My father is successful in the practice and business but you cannot compare that success to the success of establishing a loving family and life outside of business. My father’s main objective is a strong family and exceptional values. He is always trying to help someone in any way that he can and in part I think being able to be selfless and help others is definitely part of my success plan.

So after all that can I really define success for me? I would say that my idea of an ideal successful life would be a whole bunch of characteristics tied together. For me family is what defines us in today’s world. If we can go out and deal with life and all its turbulence none of that really seems to matter if you have a strong, stable, and loving family in your corner at all times. So family would be my first characteristic in success and definitely the most important. For me money and title are important but without a strong foundation and family the money and the status would do me no good. I want to live my life freely. And in today’s world in order for you to live freely and gain experiences you need money. Money is in no way the most important thing to me but on the same note people who say money doesn’t matter are lying. Everyone would like to have money because with money comes comfort and experiences; also with money comes a lot of problems. Money and status would be a part of my success plan as well because I would like to be able to travel and see the world and also use that money to lead into another part of being successful which is being selfless and wanting to help others.

In closing I would like to say that success varies with the individual and I don’t think there is a cut and dry definition that everyone should live by. However, a strong character gives you a very good building block for success and if you can always improve your character you will be happy and successful. “Success is not external with the glam or the money, it is inside you and with success the money is a tool to further your success, without success money is just money.”