EMOTIONLESS

For me emotions are a hard thing to think about let alone write about, I’ve always played the role of the strong unshakeable one who keeps it together emotionally in almost all situations. That is just how I handled an experience that overwhelmed me with emotion one time and it worked so that is what I have done ever since. It is not always a good thing to do this. For the people around you are the strong supportive one at the time, but your emotions are most likely going to find there way out sometime. Throughout my life I have been through what feels like a ton of ups and downs. Starting from my adoption at a young age and running right up to this day my life has always been full of responsibility and emotion. When I was younger my brother struggled with severe depression and when things got really bad that is when I assumed my role as the rock. My parents would get overwhelmed and caught up in all the emotions of what was going on mixed in with some feeling of guilt, when they would think that it was their fault and I would stay strong and try to get things done and help my parents take their mind off of it. When I was thirteen my brother got admitted into a hospital where he would stay for 2 weeks and at the moment that happened I took on a whole knew role of steady one in the household. But what was I supposed to do with the emotions that I thought I was making disappear? Different people handle their feelings differently and at this point in my life the outlet for me was anger. I would box at school and would let no one beat me. We fought for dollars and for some it was something fun to see during recess but for me it was where I could get my release. This only lasted for so long until the teachers got wind of our little boxing league and shut it down.

All my life I have been an athlete, from a very young age my father was determined to make me the next great catcher of my generation. When our boxing league got shut down I threw myself totally into my athletic career. When I was home it was too hard and draining so I would just practice. At this point I was playing ice hockey as well which is a great release of negative energy. I switched from offense to defense and would put my body in play whenever I got a chance. Through the world of sports I realized that emotions did not always have to be suppressed but sometimes you can let them show through. Playing sports is where I learned a hell of a lot about life. Being on a team in a competitive environment and doing whatever it takes to win can and will show through in life after the sports are gone. It is not an easy thing to make me stop in my tracks because I feel like I have seen it all. Just when you start thinking that, something comes along and puts you in your place. Something stops you in your tacks and makes you think about everything in your life and how there is so much more out there.

I cannot recall one particular incident that really stopped me in my tracks but I will say that there are many things out there that make me see how much more there really is in life. Sports are something that I have always looked to in my life. To some it may seem silly to talk about sports and emotion, but to me they go hand in hand. Some may say it’s just a game and others may disagree. No matter what your passion is in athletics it is way more then just a game. Through sports you learn how to be a team player, how to communicate, and most of all it really does build character. So instead of commenting on one case that made my emotion flow I would just say spots in general but more so when I was in the spotlight with my team during my career. So now that I do not play anymore seriously competitive leagues I put my heart into the fun leagues I play in and the teams I love and try to live vicariously through like the New York Mets.

YouTube - Mets video 2006